A Broken Spirit — Who Can Bear It?

There is a question tucked away in the book of Proverbs that cuts right to the heart of the human condition: "The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness, but who can bear a broken spirit?" (Prov 18:14). And the same writer adds in chapter 17, "A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones." (Prov 17:22). A person with a broken spirit has given up — you can see it in their face, their posture, the way they move through the day. God does not want that for His people.

Do Not Break Another's Spirit

The story of David after the battle against Absalom is one of Scripture's most vivid pictures of what a broken spirit can do to others. David's army had just won a great victory — the kingdom was restored, the rebellion crushed. But when word came that Absalom was dead, David wept so loudly and so publicly that the victory turned to mourning for all the people. His commander Joab had to come to him and say plainly: you have disgraced the men who saved your life today. You have acted as though it would have pleased you better if they had all died and Absalom had lived (2 Sam 19:1-7). David's grief — however understandable — broke the spirit of the very ones who deserved to celebrate. We have to be careful that we do not do that to the people around us.

Parents are specifically warned about this. "Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become disheartened." (Col 3:21). Constant harshness, or wild inconsistency — one day everything is fine, the next day the same thing draws wrath — can wound a child's spirit in ways that last a lifetime. And even when we must correct a brother or sister who has wandered, we dare not push them past the point of recovery. Paul's word to the church at Corinth about the man they had withdrawn fellowship from is clear: the discipline was sufficient, and now "you ought rather to forgive and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one be swallowed up with too much sorrow." (2 Cor 2:7). The goal was never to crush — it was to restore.

Broken, But Not Crushed

The Bible does speak of being broken in a positive sense, and we have to hold both ideas together. David himself wrote, "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and a contrite heart — these, O God, You will not despise." (Ps 51:17). And James says simply, "Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up." (Jas 4:10). That kind of brokenness — getting self out of the way, surrendering our stubborn will to God — is exactly what He is looking for. It is not weakness; it is strength under control.

The difference is this: God wants us broken of our own selfish ways, but He does not want us crushed and despairing. Paul knew the difference from hard experience. "We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed." (2 Cor 4:8-9). That is the portrait of a spirit that has been humbled before God but has not given up — pressed hard on every side, yet still standing because the Lord lifts up the one who humbles himself before Him.

In Closing

Sometimes what keeps a person from doing what they know they need to do is simply that they have not yet reached that point of brokenness before the Lord. Self is still in the way. But the moment a person truly humbles himself and says, "Speak, Lord, for Your servant is listening," that is the moment the Lord can lift him up. He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Ps 147:3). Do not despair — and do not let the people around you despair either. Let us help one another, and let us humble ourselves before the One who is able to raise us up.